That Was The Week That Was – Week 08

This week began in the other place, that place we all like to ridicule as the haven of the hangers on, the £300 a day expenses gravy-trainers, a retirement home for elderly politicians who’ve had their day. So why did the Appeaser put in an unprecedented appearance in the House of Lords?

She knows only too well that unlike the ‘rollover tickle my belly’ opposition that Corbyn’s Labour party offered to the ‘Brexit bill’ the Lords are made of sterner stuff.

Led by old Tarzan himself, Hezza will ensure the government at least offers both Houses of Parliament a meaningful vote on the final terms of Brexit and, hopefully, prevent people living in the UK and Europe, becoming bargaining chips in the whole Brexit mess. Mess? Of course, I meant negotiations, Brexit negotiations.

Very wise of the Appeaser, wise to try, but she never stood a chance deterring the rebel peers given that when Hezza was swinging the Mace around the Commons over forty years ago she was but a young slip of a Tory, having nothing more taxing than play the vicar’s daughter at the village fete Bongo Bingo stall; probably explains why her stretch at the Home Office was such a fiasco.

Talking of fiascos, Prime Minister’s questions descended into a punch and Judy show with good old Jezza telling May how she was crippling the NHS, producing fact after fact only for the increasingly hysterical May to say “oh no it isn’t” only for Jezza to tell her “oh yes it is” backed up by leaked reports that 19 hospitals are to close and 15,000 bed losses over the past six years. May’s only retort these days is to claim how much better it is under the Tories; reminds me of somebody…..

Comical Ali

Election day couldn’t come quick enough for poor old comical Paul Nuttall, the PPC for UKIP at Stoke Central, even we couldn’t enjoy the ridicule he was now bringing upon himself.

It had become little more than a blood sport now, and whilst Farage likes to think he can ride to hounds, we don’t think he’s ever been on a horse but he’s mounted a few fillies in his £4m ‘man of the people’ London bachelor ‘pad’, he was wise to distance himself from what Arron Banks described as a jumble sale of a campaign.

Man of the People Nigel ‘Foxy’ Farage

By the thickness of his PhD thesis Nuttall just about managed to avoid being beaten into fourth place by the Conservative candidate, which just about tells you all you need to know about the appeal and the need for UKIP in a post referendum Britain that is quickly waking up to the lies that passes for policy at wherever Nuttall is living this week.

Labour held the seat with their instantly forgettable err err ‘Labour candidate’ coming home in first place but with two percent less of the share of the electorate. Actually a positive result compared with what happened further north in the Cumbrian constituency of Copeland.

If Stoke was Leave central, Copeland was Nuclear central, with many constituents working or relying on nearby Sellafield for their livelihoods; a place where anti-nuclear Jezza went down faster than a relative of Kim Jong-Un.

The Conservative candidate Trudy Harrison took the seat, which had been held by Labour for more than 80 years, with a massive 6.7% swing, an astonishing result given the Tories have been in power for seven years during which they’d applied severe austerity measures to the region and are now attempting to close their maternity hospital yet the people voted for the Tory candidate in their droves.

They’re either sadists or Labour, under Corbyn, has become a bigger turnoff than watching Trump holding hands with Theresa; Jezza thinks they’re sadists, bless him.

Talking of Trump, and what week wouldn’t be complete with the LSD substitute, ‘The Donald’ has now started to ban the media. We’ve had the ‘Heil Trump’ shouts, we’ve had the rallies, we’ve even had talk of militarising the rounding-up of illegal immigrants; it just reminds us of something in the past, can’t quite put our finger on it at the moment.

A nice boost to the Eurosceptic Leavers, who have long cast doubt on those miserable Remainers and their doomongery, when it was announced that Boeing were to open a new manufacturing facility in Sheffield. The £20m factory will produce aerospace actuators employing approximately 30 people.

Surprising that such great news wasn’t shouted from the rooftops by Cooperman Davis or Liam Fox, or his ‘friend’, but this was left to the far-right lunatic representative, John Redwood, to sing how marvellous this Brexit future is going to be.

Not surprising at all really, not surprising when you learn the £20m factory is a reciprocal deal from the massive contract the government handed to Boeing last year; a contract to supply the P-8 Poseidon spy plane, for the RAF, and upgrading the Army’s fleet of Apache helicopters. Together these deals were worth about £5bn, but very little of the work will be carried out in the UK. Yep, this will be the future and wise of the Brexit big guns to keep their heads down whilst leaving Redwood to sing its praises with the same vigour he put into the Welsh anthem.

The week ended with Tom Watson telling the Scottish Labour conference that this wasn’t the time for a leadership challenge, this wasn’t the time for a progressive alliance, this was the time to get people to support Labour. Say what you see Tom, say what you see; you’re so much better than when you’re dabbing in the Commons!